I'm seeking balance.

Because I get so upset, I need the calm. Because I get so down, I need the up. NOthing is ever balanced with me. Not even my neck (or so says the chiropractor!)

Balance isn't any easy thing to achieve, either.

But I'm not ready to give up on it.

Courtesy: http://inkonmyfingers.typepad.com/


For some reason, I wasn't about resolutions this year. I'm just so excited that my 2nd book is going to be in every store in America--that is enough.

But I do love what Andrea did in her blog--the Mondo Beyondo list. Check it out!

And with that, here is mine:

1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2007?

I was working on two books at once. I published CSE in February 2007. Way to kick off the year!

My business was also much more established and I've had to do less marketing--another plus.

My great aunt Ruth died, so that was hard to say goodbye to her and the last trace of all my family in North Jersey. Ruth's passing wasn't so hard for me--the woman is clearly in Heaven and lived a long life and I'm at peace with that.

I'm most proud of getting of medication. I also started losing weight. All before needed a "resolution" to do it!

I grew closer to healthier people. I asserted myself more.

I traveled to Connecticut and Massachusetts!

I bought my first home with my hubby.
We are still very much in love!!!

2. What is there to grieve about 2007?

I didn't make it out to Colorado yet. My fears got the best of me. I didn't wnat to leave my husband but it was hard spending the holidays without my mom and sister.

There were plenty of scary things, as I struggle with anxiety.

The hardest thing was coping with someone in my family. The drama dragged out and when the event came, it was, thankfully over. But I'd lost someone in many ways.

I can forgive myself for everything. I have to. I have to let it go when I am mad at myself for being emotional. This is who I am.

I also discovered several rifts in my friendships. It's okay because I see that I"m healthy and there's no way these friendships can go back--wouldn't want them to. But still, it's hard to cope.

3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?

I wasn't perfect, the year wasn't so ideal, but I'm growing. 2007's door won't close because I need those lessons to move forward, but I am ready and excited about a new slate, so to say.

G r o w t h.


I realize that I am growing so much. Life is closing doors in areas. I am learning to be confident in my decisions. I am learning to be at ease with the past. Learning to love myself. Learning to accept myself for who I am. Learning that those who can't follow these things aren't worth my time. It is so hard letting my mistakes go, and letting people who bring me baggage go.

I am trying to let things I've done go. I wasn't always so healthy and right about things, and I can't punish myself for this anymore. I can't do it. I must let go. Must move forward. At least I am moving forward--part of my looks back in sadness because others can't grow and don't have a desire to be better. I can't do things for them anymore. I can't feel bad when they pull mental guilt on me for being so strong, so open, so healthy.

Sometimes I get growing pains, though. I doubt myself. I hurt. I get sad. I cry. These are signs of my growth. I even forget how far I've come and I never give myself enough credit. These are pains. Again, signs of the growth.

I know new doors are opening. I just have to let them.



Are you doing that?

How are you growing?

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congratulations, my perfect boys!
xoxox

Christmas was nice.

I mean, all that matters is the true meaning--and I am happy to celebrate that Jesus came into the world. The rest of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day was nice. We had a great time with the in-laws and a nice Christmas Day together. We even got to open up our home to a friend who really needed it. Made all my griping about mom and sis being away seem so small. But I can't deny that Christmas Day was a little odd without them.

I hope you had a nice holiday. Now to gear up for New Year's Eve. It's always been my favorite holiday. But this year I need to clean the house, finish a major project and attend 2 parties before I can open up my house for friends!

Happy Holidays:)

Man, I'll tell ya--sports is a divider.

The counter guys come into my house today to deliver mommy's new baby--a quartz countertop. All is well until he sees the Patriots magnet on my fridge. Dude starts to get nasty--only half jokingly.

So I had to say it..."Aren't the Jets 3-11? Cuz I know my team is 14-0."

I wouldn't have rubbed it in. But this jerk begged for it. And yes, the Jets stink. haha.

After all, I watch football and just enjoy football. I was told to "pick a team." Then the bastards got really good and are having an undefeated season. Oh so horrible, eh? Suddenly, I'm the bad guy! I actually LOVE the Patriots! I love football in general. (I even almost had a Pats Christmas tree with numbers like 83, 12, 81, 54 and 88 all over the tree--Tom Brady's face could've gone over the angel's even though that's the closest he'll ever get to being an angel. Sadly, my husband resisted.

But it's like, just sports. You like your team, I like mine. It's cool, really.

WTF?!?!

Thank God the stone was too tough--I was fearing I'd have "JETS" carved into my coutner by the time he left. And by the time he left he got a little nicer. But still. I talk a little trash with friends about football (cuz they always rag on my team first) but from a contractor? Get real.

And you thought politics divided people?
Nope, not even the "oh-so-horrible" G.W. can rip humans apart.

It's sports.